When Bernard Musyoki walked into Sheria House in Nairobi on February 2, 2021, he knew he was about to take one of the biggest steps of his life.
Beside him was Deborah Jan Spicer, the woman he had fallen deeply in love with despite a 35-year age difference, thousands of miles separating them and objections from friends and relatives.
The couple stood before the registrar and exchanged vows, sealing a relationship that had begun in an unlikely place—Facebook.
Musyoki, a 37-year-old businessman based in Malindi, had a modest KSh50 wedding ring. Deborah, 72, wore a relatively old ring she already owned.
But neither the price of the rings nor their age mattered.
For the couple, the real value was the commitment they were making to each other.
“I bought a ring worth Ksh.50 for my wedding and my wife used the one she had. She told me she didn’t mind the fact that I got a cheap ring. What mattered to her was me, her prince charming,” Musyoki recalls.
Their unconventional love story has continued to attract attention, largely because of the remarkable age difference and the physical distance between them.
Deborah lives in Michigan, United States, while Musyoki remains in Kenya.
Yet Musyoki insists that love is not something one can simply choose or control.
“I don’t have a choice on who I fall in love with. She’s the perfect person, it just happens that she lives thousands of miles away,” he says.
A love born on Facebook
The two first met on Facebook in 2017, and what began as an online friendship gradually blossomed into something deeper.
Despite the objections they encountered from people around them, they chose to follow their hearts.
Their relationship eventually culminated in their wedding at the Attorney General’s office in Nairobi.
Unlike many newlyweds who begin their married lives under the same roof, Musyoki and Deborah have had to navigate marriage across continents.
Musyoki says the last time he physically saw his wife was in June 2021.
Since then, technology has become an important bridge between them.
They shop together virtually, take walks while connected on video calls, cook together and share the small moments that make up everyday life.
“Sometimes I might encounter something interesting and she is the first person I want to share it with. This has made us grow fond of each other every passing day,” he says.
Their anniversary is celebrated in an equally unconventional but meaningful way.
With their anniversary falling on February 4, the couple planned to mark the occasion from opposite sides of the Atlantic.
Because of the time difference, Deborah would have lunch in Michigan while Musyoki had dinner in Kenya, with the two joining each other through a video call.
Distance tests their love
But their marriage has not been without challenges.
Musyoki openly admits that there are moments when the distance becomes difficult, particularly when he misses his wife.
“We experience challenges like any other relationship, sometimes I miss her so much. With distance, you don’t know sometimes what your partner is up to and so you need all the reassurance you can get,” he says.
For him, however, trust remains the foundation of their marriage.
“I take care of myself, I am faithful and I know my wife is faithful too. I cannot cheat on her because I know how that would hurt her and break our marriage,” he says.
The couple’s dream of spending more time together has also faced immigration hurdles.
Musyoki attempted to travel to the United States to meet Deborah but was denied a visa.
He says the visa application process can be lengthy and demanding, requiring applicants to provide evidence of their relationship alongside financial documentation.
The setback made their physical separation even harder.
“It was hard saying goodbye and not knowing when we’ll see each other next. I hope we can finally be together soon, she is the best thing that ever happened in my life,” Musyoki says.
Despite the challenges, he remains optimistic about their future.
For Musyoki, their marriage is proof that love can survive circumstances that might appear impossible—from a huge age gap to thousands of miles of separation.
His advice to other couples in long-distance relationships is simple: communicate.
“Good communication is key, don’t let a day pass without communication. If you can meet each other’s communication needs, you can feel like your partner actually isn’t thousands of miles away,” he says.
For Bernard and Deborah, every phone call, video chat and shared moment is more than just technology.
It is their way of closing the distance—and reminding each other that, despite the miles between them, their hearts remain close.
