1. A hawker was shouting loudly at window that he was selling sweet honey and was attracted to buy. Only to find out he was carrying pants!!!! Am pissed off.
2. Being in a relationship with an uneducated
girlfriend is boring…
Me: Good night sweetheart sweet dreams
Lady: Night baby, Rest in Peace…..
3. Bus carrying 60 Kalenjins has overturned and Survivors have run to hospital on foot.
4. Have you ever gone with your partner to supermarket and she request to be bought something you can’t afford, you will be like “Salimia ile camera pale nje, UMENASWA!”
5. I asked my younger bro via text if I can borrow his charger. His reply? 21002. Then I was like, dude I never asked for your fee balance WTF!! .He texted back a long laugh then at the end… I meant TUMIA TU. When are this high scholars’ going back to school
6. My friend entered supermarket and found his Ex doing an Omo promotion. He just greets her and goes ahead and purchases Ariel
7. Has your Girlfriend ever found a bra in your room?? You have to cheat her you were given by a witch doctor so as to win Sportspesa betting.
8. To all ladies call your man and say, “YOU THOUGHT I WOULDN’T FIND OUT?”
Then hang up. Don’t pick up his calls, wait for confession messages, thank me later.
9. Have you ever been bored until you feel like calling your ex you break up again!
10. Poor girl, this guy Just impregnated this young girl and cheated her he is on safe days!!! From when men start being on safe days. Ladies beware.
11. Have you ever been called sweetheart by your crush until you felt like putting your legs on the table and sending your dad to bring food stuffs from shop!!!!
12. I told my girlfriend I want to grab her fundamentals she replied that real men grab land.
13. If were to be asked, Women are the most hardworking creatures on earth, how can they carry their fundamentals all by their own the whole day.
14. She told me couldn’t Breathe without me, but once I fatted she left the room and left the room. And you tell me ladies are loyal!!
15. She told me she only dates Rich guys and not sufferers and I went and fixed my poverty and become rich. She came back and I told her I only date virgins!! How can she fix that??
16. If you want peaceful marriage marry a short lady, if she misbehaves lift her put her on top of fridge until she behaves.
17. “Stop bothering yourself by snooping into your man’s chats with other mamas, you want the truth, check his conversations with his ninjas, that’s where the TRUTH LIES”
18. You are over 35 years and looking for girl with big boobs, nonsense are you looking for a wife or a dairy cow. Style up!!
19. A drunkard Just fall from second floor and people rushed to scene and asked him what the problem was. He replied that he has arrived at scene shortly and did not know what was happening. For sure excessive consumption of alcohol is harmful.
20. A Lady uploaded picture of his dad on Facebook and her friend commented “can see you are also updating about Sugar daddy, I hate him because he does not like to use protection”. The lady fainted.
Editor: Charles Oseko