You may feel hopeless and wonder how to get a girl to text you back when she is ignoring you, but that might not be what’s going on at all. We all have different texting styles. Some people text back quickly, whereas others take a couple of hours on average. Some people turn their phones off or on silent when they’re at work, at school, when they’re socializing, and so on. Some people even think that you should wait a couple of days to text someone back so that there’s a “chase” for the other person.
The truth is that there’s no universal rule for how often you should text someone; it depends on who you are, who they are, and what the dynamic of the relationship is like overall.
Say that it’s been a few days and she hasn’t said anything. Here are some things that you can do to keep the conversation going and entice the girl that you’re into to text you back.
1 Give Her Physical Space
If you’ve been asking her to get together and she hasn’t been replying, it might be best not to bring up getting together next time you send her a text.
There are many reasons that a girl might not want to meet up, and it likely has nothing to do with you. She could legitimately be busy or stressed out, she might be going through something difficult in her personal life, or she might be experiencing social anxiety. It’s also worth noting that if you began speaking online and haven’t seen each other in person yet, a lot of fear can come with that initial encounter.
There are so many horror stories out there about online dating that she might be nervous and need more time to get to know you. Change the subject and talk about something light-hearted so that you can chat more and build up to asking her out on a date again in the future.
2. Keep it postive
It’s important to keep the conversation light and positive. There’s nothing wrong with a sarcastic quip here and there, but make sure that you don’t spend most of the time complaining or making snide remarks about things. Insert some humor. Remember that life can be stressful and that everyone likes to laugh. If you’re kind and engaging when you speak to someone, it’s more likely that they’ll be at ease around you and want to keep the conversation going.
3. It May Not Be About You – Don’t Overreact
If you’re sensitive to it, especially due to past circumstances or trauma, you might believe that you’re being ignored when you’re not. As hard as it might be, and as important as it is to attend to your feelings personally, make sure that you don’t lash out on this person. It’s not going to do any good and will only alienate them further. Take a step back if you feel like they’re not talking to you as much as you’d like, and don’t take it personally. It might have absolutely nothing to do with you.
4. Avoid Passive-Aggressiveness
You’re not going to get her to text you back if you say something like, “I can see that you’re busy” because that’ll push her away even further. Along the lines of open-ended questions, rather than commenting on how busy she must be or how she hasn’t replied, you can ask what’s been going on in her life. It’s always good to show interest in the other person’s life; people are attracted to that because it shows genuine interest and care
5. Keep the Conversation Fresh and New
You don’t have to trace back to what you were talking about before. That topic has probably passed in terms of relevancy, so it’s time to move on and start a new conversation. Another thing that you can do is ask a question.
Remember, just like in person, asking open-ended questions is a great way to get a more detailed response than asking a yes or no question. Something simple like “what’s been going on with you?” or a question about what she’s interested in and the kinds of things that she might like to do. For example, you could ask, “are there any new movies that you’re interested in seeing?”